3am and a glass of wine to help me sleep

Soooo tired yet I cant sleep.  At least I have tried to sleep.  I guess thats what you get for napping all day on your day off.  Just had a glass of red wine, hoping that will coax me into dream land.  Had an interesting evening.  The bf and I havent had sex in almost 2 months.  So finally tonight we do and he well how do I put this delicatly, releases inside of me.  Now I am not on birth control nor did we use a condome.  Wise huh.  he knows this too.  the thing about is is I just dont know if I want to spend the rest of my life with him.  I also just applied for a job in Chicago.  It would be  a great opportunity for me to make more money and regain some independence.  A baby would surely mess that up.  then I look on facebook and see all of the pictures of friends my age having babies and my heart just melts and I can feel tears streaming down my face.  That is truly what I want, but right now?  I will probably go get the plan b rx tomorrow.  what choice do i have.  the timing is not right but will it ever be. and is he the right guy to be the father of my children and the man I spend the rest of my life with. 

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